Antfarm Dickhole is the story of a
guy bullied by a trio of miscreants and left
unconscious near a nest of ants, who crawl into his
urogenital tract by means left as an exercise for
the viewer and, in there, they take up
residence. These particular ants are not
ginormous because this movie is not a remake of the
1950's classic, Them, but they are plenty big and
apparently hungry, or at least aggressive, which
means they attack everyone but the host whenever
they get out. And they get out only at the end
of one major function of the urogenital system, the
less frequent but more actively pursued one.
The guy cums ants. So, fine - gals get eaten
by ants. Naked gals. Lots of them.
The first is Angelina
, whose attempt at getting away from the
ants is to role around for a few minutes with her
private parts aimed at the camera. We learn
that Angelina has pierced lips and I do not mean the
ones just below her nose.
is next, as she sits in a car while
our protagonist humps the tailpipe. Why?
Seriously, why? I barely understand the
mythical sex with a vacuum cleaner thing, but at
least the airflow with it is in the right
direction. But a tailpipe? Tis a puzzle.
all them attacked and devoured by ants during the
normal course of things.
Out of the blue, Lydia
meets a crueler fate as a tarantula the
size of a house cat attacks her and spews silly
string at her, which turns into surgical gauze that
somehow manages to tie down her arms as the arachnid
crawls between her legs. As all that happens
we get the view as seen by one of the tarantula's
many eyes. We are talking gynocam here.
Now why a tarantula without a necessary appendage
would seek the comfort of the cave of infinite bliss
is anyone's guess, but there you have it.
Last up on the nekkid list is the cutie, Jessica
, but she must endure an attack by a
creature more hideous than the one that screwed
Just kidding, Bill. You look great. Good
news: the ants eat Bill as he eats (so to speak)
Jessica and the movie ends on a happy note.